Soundtrack: “Personal Jesus”, Depeche Mode; “All Around the World”, Lisa Stansfield; “Abracadabra”, Lady Gaga (again) Cebu, one of the central islands of the Philippines. For thousands of years inhabited by folks who generally seemed to mind their own business, and who otherwise spent a chunk of their time perfecting the cooking of pork. Then one day a Portuguese/Spanish guy named Ferdinand Magellan turned up on their shores, hung out with the locals, and told them all about Jesus. He also got involved in local politics, which meant folks from the neighbouring island of Mactan didn’t join his fan club, instead deciding to kill him when he showed up to either…