Day 4: KL, All about the food

I know every day, heck, the biggest reason I’m here in KL is the food, but today was all about food. If you ignore the minutes I spent organising my laundry (15MYR/kg, the most expensive I’ve encountered in SE Asia, but I just went with the nearest without shopping around) literally everything I did today was about the food.

In planning this trip, I was looking at doing a cooking class, but was a little put off at some of the prices, upwards of 300MYR, which in perspective is two nights in my hotel, or all the streetfood I could ever possibly eat here. So I baulked, until L prodded and prodded and gifted me some cash for the express purpose of doing a class (I gifted her an “emergency” shopping fun on her last trip, so fair is fair I guess). So I googled classes, and found one that ticked all the boxes: it was local Nyonya food; was easy to get to; and was a far more reasonable 250MYR. So it was off to Sarang Cookery for me.

I should probably also add that due to a mix of neck pain, back pain, whisky, possible mild dehydration, and caffeine withdrawal, I was a little sensitive in the head this morning. That there was a screamingly bright sun didn’t help.

When I emailed Sarang about the Friday morning class they asked if I could do the afternoon class instead, but this might rush my Dining in the Dark booking, so i asked about Saturday instead. They told me Saturday was fully booked, and Friday morning was fine.

I didn’t realise that this meant they were putting on a class just for me.While I’m not that special, I do applaud this customer service. I got there a little earli, and met Eve, the instructor, picking pandan leaves from the front of the restaurant for the class. She showed me some other herbs, including what was probably the herb also known as Thai basil and Vietnamese mint.

Upstairs, Eve was great, teaching me a few words of Javanese (which I imediately forgot), and telling me about her six grandsons, as well as displaying the sort of knife skills only a self-taught cook who still has 10 fingers possesses (i.e. don’t try this at home). She was also happy when I told her I liked chili, it seems she gets a few Westerners who can’t take the heat. She almost applauded every time my spoon went near the chili paste (which was a little warm, but not nuclear).

First dish was a Gulai Tumis Ikan, or fish curry. Having established my chili credentials, Eve gave me a handful of the little green ones, which had a moderate heat. The recipe was fairly straightforward for these types of dishes: grab the essential spices, put in the big stone mortar, bang with the pestle until a fine paste, heat up oil, fry herbs until aromatic, fry spice paste until ditto, then add the meat and vegetables and liquid and cook until done.

Simple, right? While I was having all this fun, and it was fun, don’t get me wrong, I felt each pound of the pestle rattle around my sore head, and can’t say that the local bench height did my back any favours. So what I’m saying is that I suffered for my art.

Next recipe was Ayam Masak Merah, or spicy tomato chicken (I think merah means red). Same process as above, just different ingredients. Eve at least said she liked my cooking, either she was being polite or she liked all the chili I added. I was quite happy with the final result, which was indeed spicy red chicken.

While all this was going on, Eve made a pot of Nasi Tomato, or tomato rice. Here’s where I remember part of the language lesson: I knew that nasi means rice, but Eve explained it means cooked rice — uncooked rice has a different name (which I can’t remember). The rice had a bit of tomato puree, but mostly absorbed the wonderful aromatic spices and pandan.

The final dish was Pajeri Nenas, pineapple curry. Same method as above, but ingredients included crispy fried coconut pounded into a paste. Eve confided that this dish wasn’t her favourite as it was more sweet than spicy, so I snuck a spoonful of the chili paste into mine.

All the fun came to an end, and I made more food than I could eat, so I left with some takeaway containers. I was hoping to come across a beggar, as there have been a few around, but this time there were none on my route to give this extra food to, so it’s now in my hotel fridge. I hope that I do either manage to eat it or give it away, as I’m not big on wasting food.

By the time I got back to the hotel my head was thumping, so I grabbed paracetamol, water, and had a long lay down. These helped shift most of the pain, but on my way out I detoured past the local hipster coffee place (see Day 1 or 2?) hoping for a pot of Guatemalan. They weren’t having a good day, being out of the big G, but fixed me up with an espresso. Just after my coffee arrived, the power went out, something that has been happening all day apparently. While paying (the till had a manual key to open) I got talking with the manager/owner, who told me they regularly visit Panama and Honduras to source beans, which are roasted upstairs by their Melbourne-trained roaster.

Have I mentioned that KL apparently has the best Guinness outside of Ireland? Running early for dinner, I stopped at an Irish bar and had a half-pint, and will say it was pretty good, more creamy than bitter, so a thumbs up from me.

Then it was on to Dining in the Dark. The whle idea of this place is in the title, diners eat in total darkness, while being served by visually impaired waitstaff. Before you dine, there are a couple of tests: first it’s guess the three ingredients in their mystery mocktail (I got 0/3) and then find 3 out of 4 paperclips in a small bucket of rice while blindfolded (I got all 4).

I was then introduced to Radha, my waiter, who guided me to my seat and told me where my utensils and drinks were located. Then came the first course, 5 entrees served in little bowls on a tray. You don’t get shown the menu until after you’ve finished, the aim is to guess from taste, smell, and texture alone. For me this is harder than it looks, not only is vision such a dominant sense, it also acts as a referee for the other senses, and without it to arbitrate I would find myself struggling with some ingredients: is the slightly stringy vegetable leek or eggplant? Just what is that crunchy cube covered in a creamy sauce? I did get better as the courses progressed, but was still stumped on some ingredients right to the end.

The other challenge was just getting the food into the big hole in my face. Everything was served in small dishes, so I could generally hold these up to my mouth and shovel with the spoon, but there were a few spills. It certainly helped that the food was also served in small pieces, because if I had to cut the roast lamb myself I’d still be there now.

In between courses, Radha would come and chat for a little while. Due to glaucoma, he’s been blind for 7 years, but he’s very interested in Australia. While I tried to ask him more about himself, he kept plying me with questions about what Australia and Australian people are like. That he was able to take away each course and bring the next one, without incident was amazing as was his memory of what everything was (he’d tell me which dish to start with, and then the order, and he knew what was where).

I’m kind of glad that there wasn’t a night vision camera filming me, because I’m sure my face would light up when I identified an ingredient. Pasta! Lamb! Chocolate mousse! Lychee! Carrot! (Yes, carrot was one of the crunchy cubes I encountered.) No cameras was probably also a good thing, meaning no one saw me licking the chocolate mouse bowl clean.

Back into the light, I popped into the whisky bar next door, where I enjoyed a 15yo Benriach dark rum cask finish; a Kavalan Soloist bourbon cask; and a Nikka Coffey Grain, before wandering back to the hotel, taking in the various bands playing on street corners.

Tomorrow I’ll be seeking out some more markets, including a flea market rumoured to have occasional strange treasures, and just generally shopping. I’ve got  more days here, so I suppose I’ll need to get some pressies for folks.