Day 7: Bangkok, market city

Today was all about the markets.

In a possibly related note, it’s only 8pm and I am exhausted from wading through seas of thousands of people, avoiding trolleys and tuk-tuks and bigger vehicles, looking over millions of weird and wonderful items, all in 32+ degrees and a regular amount of humidity.

I’m not sure there is a city in the world that is blessed with sensible market crowds. Maybe, once you pack a number of market stalls tightly together, leaving only narrow pathways to traverse the maze, and then dump enough people within, some switch gets flipped in the human psyche. For some, it manifests in the desire to stop at random in the middle of the path; in others, it creates the desire to ride a bicycle through the pack; others still just spend every moment suppressing the urge to explode in a fit of rage at the clueless meat puppets that just won’t get out of the damn way.

I spent chunk of this experience playing the big fat white farang card, with a determined look, a gaze of steel, and a gallon of sweat pouring off. I look like I’ll gut you like a fish, eat you, or at least just sweat on you if you don’t keep moving. And then I’ll see something weird and cute and the whole facade is gone, except for the sweat.

The morning was spent at the Chatuchuk markets, possibly the world’s largest open air markets or something like that. We got there early, so the crowds could have been bigger, but they were big enough. Breakfast was some chicken fried rice and a Thai coffee —

Ah, those wacky SE Asians and the things they do in the name of coffee. This one was in a huge, almost bucket-sized glass. The substance it contained was less auspicious, comprising what I assume was instant coffee, some condensed milk, and a whole load of ice. I’ll give extra marks for not sweetening this within an inch of it’s life, but that’s about it.

— which was okay, better than the hotel offering, but I was a little surprised there wasn’t a little basket of condiments that would have lifted the rice. It was a little pricey too, about 350THB (more expensive than a massage and tip). So if you’re in the Chatuchuk markets, skip the little cafe down the end in a corner. Another sour note to the expedition was running the gauntlet of christian nutbars with big signs and pre-recorded yammerings blaring from loudspeakers who line the path from the train station to the market. Sadly some, but not all of these crankers, were caucasian. To my credit, I didn’t tell any of them that they are going to hell, but I silently wished all of them a lousy day.

We didn’t really have a shopping list, so just wandered and looked. A surprise score came from a small collection of 2nd hand CDs, a lot of 80-90s indie offerings (which i had) and Kristen Hersh’s 2001 album Sunny border blue, for 100THB. I’m guessing it’s not a cheap knock-off (though if it is, kudos to Ms Hersh on making the grade). Things we didn’t buy included: all manner of plastic food, from durian to mushrooms to noodle dishes and curries; random sew on badges for the armed forces, rock bands, cartoon characters, and NASA; scented soaps in all manner of shapes; all the regular souvenirs; clothes, clothes, and more clothes; cooking supplies; fake trees and flowers; pet toys; and a crapload of other things I can’t now recall. Lots of stuff, in other words. There was much food to be had, I limited myself to some jackfruit sticky rice and a coconut, though was greatly tempted by some huge prawns.

After about 3 hours of stall walking we headed back to the hotel, via an hour of foot massage. Then it was time to make good on our overdue plans for Chinatown, and for 200THB there was a willing taxi driver, who dropped us off at the edge of the craziness.

Chinatown is not for the claustrophobic, once you leave the main roads you’re in a dense maze of narrow pathways, crowded with stalls selling everything from fabric to huge stuffed toys, fish thongs to costume jewellery, and a million other shiny things. My ability to recall all of the sights and sounds is leaving me by the minute — did I mention we spent around 5 hours in this crazy scene? This included a side trip to what L thought was China World but turned out to be the Mega Mart, which is about 5 storeys of toy shops full of figurines, electric cars, bb guns (including a minigun that I’m guessing customs might not appreciate if I’d got it), lego and other brick systems, as well as fabrics and food. It’s a crazy place. Then we found China World, which is a little less crazy, being mainly fabric and clothes and homewares.

Between 4-6pm the area transforms, day stalls close up and night food takes over. Chairs and tables appear on footpaths, pop up food stalls appear, gas roars, braziers are cranked, and out comes a plethora of culinary delights. Down one side street I had the best $2 pad thai, complete with an array of condiments including fish sauce, chilli and crushed peanuts (also white sugar, but I skipped that one). It came out like an omelette, the noodles and other goodness wrapped in the egg. Full of flavour, and did I mention that it was $2 for the expensive one, including prawns?

There were rice flour wrapped dumplings, and deep fried doughnutty things with pandam paste, and had we wanted, lots and lots of seafood, fruit (including durian), the obligatory cart selling deep fried bugs and scorpions on a stick, and sticky rice desserts. Given all the walking we did today, we probably burnt off everything we ate.

Then it was home on the MRT, not to be confused with the BST as they use different ticketing systems.

Tomorrow is the 25th of December, and the Thais, not wanting to miss a party, have been blaring xmas music in every store, every place I’ve sought refuge and air-conditioning. I thought we’d get to skip a bunch of this being in a Buddhist country, but sadly not this time. So merry 25th everyone, be safe, and happy turkey and ham and stuffing!